The Deadly Superman

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Seriously
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The Deadly Superman

Post by Seriously » 14 Aug 2007 23:20

In large doses he can cause mortality, unlike the ordinary Superman.


Discuss.
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gulliver
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Post by gulliver » 15 Aug 2007 00:17

I've head he can chew up railroad iron and shit out steel.

Apparantley it was inscribed on the dog-tags that hung around his neck when he was hot from the vagina.

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smash
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Post by smash » 15 Aug 2007 00:35

Deadly Superman mainly kills with his super breath...

he should brush more often.

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eamon angelface
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Post by eamon angelface » 15 Aug 2007 01:12

"The Deadly Superman is a son of a bitch!"

"The Deadly Superman is the father of every kid in this town!"

"The Deadly Superman once showed me a video of him making love to my wife, and it was the most beautiful thing I ever saw!"

"One time I was with The Deadly Supermanin the back of a pickup truck, along with a live deer. The Deadly Superman goes up to the deer and says, 'I'm The Deadly Superman! SAY IT!' Then he manipulates the deer's lips in such a way as to make it say, 'The Deadly Superman' ... It wasn't exactly like it, but it was pretty good for a deer!'"

"He'd eat a homeless person if you dared him!"

"His poop is used as currency in Argentina."

"He sweats Gatorade"

"He once breast-fed a flamingo back to health."

"He hated Mexicans! And he was half Mexican! .......And he hated irony!"

"I once saw him scissor kick Angela Landsbury."

"He sheds his skin once a year."

"He makes brooms somewhere in Georgia."

"He did 3 tours in 'Nam...... I was in Corpus Christi on business a month ago. I had this eight foot tall Asian waiter, which made me curious. I asked him his name. Sure enough it's Ho Tran The Deadly Superman!"

"I once saw him eat a whole live chicken."

"His favorite movie is 'One on One' with Robby Benson."

"He sleeps eight hours a night! ........ well, he was pretty normal when it came to that."

"The Deadly Supermanwas a two ton man-mountain who could palm a medicine ball!"

"The Deadly Superman had a four day heart attack...a day for each chamber. At the autopsy, they said his heart looked like a basketball filled with riccotta cheese."

"He once punched a hole in a cow just to see who was coming up the road."

"He taught me how to make love to a woman, and how to scold a child."

"They found $60 in change in his stomach."

"He did all the makeup on the 'Planet of the Apes' movie."

"He grew a 3rd arm and kept it in a vault."

"The Deadly Superman drank a full glass of liquid LSD with his eggs. Then he slept for 8 months straight. When he woke he rubbed his eyes and said, 'All in all, I prefer gin.'"

"They say Gene Roddenbery got the idea for Star Trek from listening to The Deadly Superman talk in his sleep."

"He date raped David Bowie."

"He once inhaled a seagull."

"The Pope told him it was ok to have a mistress."

"It was the sight of The Deadly Superman's naked body that drove Brian Wilson insane."

"He once had sex with a cigarette machine."

"He killed Wolfman Jack with a trident."

"He uses the Shroud of Turin as a golf towel."

"He once ate the Bible while water skiing."

"He drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls."

"You know, he would shoot whiskey into his neck with a syringe!"

"He has dandruff the size of mice!"

"He jogged with a fridge on his back!"

"He conjured Neville Chamberlain!"

"The Deadly Superman was a 10 foot monster who slept with all our wives! And punched us all in the face! And we loved him for it!"

"He's a ten foot tall beastman who showers in vodka and feeds his baby shrimp scampi."

"He orchestrated the merger between Unicef and Smith & Wessen."

"He went public with his own buttocks and made $7 million."

"Did I ever tell you about the time The Deadly Supermanwent hunting? The Deadly Superman decides he's going to hunt down all four of the Banana Splits. He stalks and kills every one of them with a machette. They all begged for their lives...except Fleagle."

"We once had a bachelor party for The Deadly Superman. He ate the entire cake before we could tell him there was a stripper in it."

"The Deadly Superman once hosted the Grammys and gave every award to Corey Hart."

"He has a toenail on the end of his penis."

"The Deadly Superman once got his wife pregnant and gave birth to a delicious 16 ounce steak. The after birth was sauteed mushrooms."

"The Deadly Superman's family crest is a picture of a baracudda eating Neil Armstrong."

"The Deadly Superman ranked 18th in the AP College Football Pool."

"Did I ever tell you about the time The Deadly Superman was in a production of, 'The King & I?' On opening night, The Deadly Superman chloroforms the entire cast and slowly eats them in front of the audience for two hours. The production got pretty good reviews."

"He breastfeeds John Madden."

"The Deadly Superman named the group Sha-Na-Na. They did NOT want to be called that."

"If you drop a phonograph needle on The Deadly Superman's nipple, it plays the Beach Boys' 'Pet Sounds.'"

"They use The Deadly Superman's foreskin as a tarp when it rains at Yankee stadium."

"The Deadly Supermandirected that commercial where the women play basketball in high heels."

"All the 'Yes' album covers areThe Deadly Superman family photos."

"He wears a live rattlesnake as a condom."

"Did I ever tell you about the time he taught his son how to drive? He did it by entering him in the Indy 500. The kid wrecked and died. The Deadly Superman said it would've happened sometime."

"The Deadly Superman's semen can form into a liquid human - like the guy from 'Terminator 2'"

"The Deadly Superman still believes in Santa Claus, and he wants to put him in porno films."

"He thinks the Iron Man is gay."

"He framed Roger Rabbit."

"The character of Johnny Appleseed was based on The Deadly Superman - except for the apple tree planting and not raping men."

"He gave a handjob to a manta ray."

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AngelBaby
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Post by AngelBaby » 15 Aug 2007 03:44

Hmm...The Deadly Superman sounds a lot like that Chuck Norris fellow.

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eamon angelface
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Post by eamon angelface » 15 Aug 2007 04:55

none of those are Chuck Norris facts.

If they are they're ripped off...

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grey_foxxy
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Post by grey_foxxy » 15 Aug 2007 05:20

The Deadly Superman is my baby's daddy.


I'm still not sure how he pulled it off.

:?
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AngelBaby
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Post by AngelBaby » 15 Aug 2007 05:26

eamon angelface wrote:none of those are Chuck Norris facts.

If they are they're ripped off...
Bill Brasky then? :unsure:

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grey_foxxy
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Post by grey_foxxy » 15 Aug 2007 05:34

jack bauer?
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eamon angelface
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Post by eamon angelface » 15 Aug 2007 10:18

AngelBaby wrote:
eamon angelface wrote:none of those are Chuck Norris facts.

If they are they're ripped off...
Bill Brasky then? :unsure:
To Bill Brasky!!!

Careful yellow fever. You keep up with the good sense of humour and I might join the Angelbaby fan club Smash started.

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The Deadly Superman
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Post by The Deadly Superman » 15 Aug 2007 16:49

The Deadly Superman wrote:I think I should get my own thread.




Just because, Shut up.
Seriously wrote:Fine.
I was referring to a forum thread of my own, like "Seriously?".

But this works too. I guess.


And Eamon, You forgot my favorite Bill Brasky:



"Did I ever tell you about the time Brasky took me out to go get a drink with him? We go off looking for a bar and we can't find one. Finally Brasky takes me to a vacant lot and says, 'Here we are.' We sat there for a year and a half — until sure enough, someone constructs a bar around us. Well, the day they opened we ordered a shot, drank it, and then burned the place to the ground. Brasky yelled over the roar of the flames, 'Always leave things the way you found 'em!'"
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The Deadly Superman
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Post by The Deadly Superman » 17 Aug 2007 16:24

Why does a thread about me only gets 1 page of replies, while the thread about the retarded conversation between that retard and the douchebag who can't do acronyms gets like 8 pages?

What the fuck?

How Dare You.
How Dare ALL Of You!

Am I really that boring?


I blame Seriously for this. I'm sure it's his fault. All his fault.

He's running a conspiracy to keep me from getting my own forum thread. He's fears the day we are on even footing, for it is the day I shall have my revenge!*






*The Deadly Superman may or may not actually have his or anyone else's revenge. Revenge redemption is strictly limited to those with valid reasons, of which The Deadly Superman currently has none. Revenge must be redeemed by the date of Seriously's death; Exceptions include spitting and/or pissing on his grave and/or dead body. However, doing so at his wake and/or funeral with his friends and family present, is ill-advised. While supplies last. No Purchase Necessary. In the case of Seriously actually being the Biblical Cain, revenge will be subject to being avenged sevenfold.
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Mike
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Post by Mike » 17 Aug 2007 17:19

Four

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Mike
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Post by Mike » 17 Aug 2007 17:20

Posts

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Mike
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Post by Mike » 17 Aug 2007 17:21

To

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